There are two kinds of work you’re responsible for: stuff you can do and stuff you need others to do.

For both of these, you probably need to talk with other people. When you do, you are either asking for information or action.

You ask people for information to help you do the stuff you can do.

  • This feels good when you recognize that you need the input
  • This feels bad when you are forced to garner approval

You ask people for action to do the stuff you need others to do.

  • This feels good when the person knows they can do the task
  • It’s best when they believe they should do it
  • It’s bad if they feel distracted because your request isn’t important to them
  • It’s the worst if they feel coerced to do your busywork

People work well together when they share a common understanding of what they each can do and what they are needed by others to do. Good coworkers trust each other to do what they’re asked (and therefore trust enough to ask). In solid teams/partnerships, people rarely misunderstand whether they’re being asked for information or action, and aren’t tempted to reply to an action request with info (or vice versa). Highly successful groups of people are able to offer each other the information or action that they know the others will need.